NIA Warns Relatives: Avoid Jammeh’s Voodoo-infested Beef

Butchers selling meat at Albert Market in Banjul/Alamy Photos

Agents of the Gambia National Intelligence Agency have been calling their relatives and friends to “stay away from President Yahya Jammeh’s voodoo-infested beef if they want to live in peace instead of in pieces.”

The talking agents have become privy to the slaughtering of donkeys in Kanilai. Donkey meat was mixed with beef before being sent to markets across the country.

Over the years, President Jammeh has invested in every sector of the Gambian economy. Unlike his predecessor who had never competed with the private businesspeople, Yahya Jammeh legitimised his involvement in business through a legislation. Jammeh had been in full swing business well before the said law was tabled before the rubber-stamping parliament.

Mr. Jammeh has invested heavily in business to the extent that it is sometimes impossible to avoid his products. Also his government levies heavy taxes on Jammeh’s private competitors to run their businesses dry.

Whatever the case, Mr. Jammeh’s agents are advising their relatives and close friends to completely refrain from buying the President’s beef which is mixed with donkey meat. The voodoo-laden leader desperately wants to rule the Gambia as he put it “for a billion years.” He has been running from one marabout to another asking them to “hypnotise Gambians to fear him.” Jammeh knows he will be sent packing any day Gambians have put fear behind.

The secret agents agree that the situation in the Gambia is dire, especially as Muslims prepare to celebrate the feast marking the end of Ramadan but that doesn’t mean Gambians should buy Jammeh’s “voodoo-infested beef for any reason.”

Besides, Jammeh’s own aides have also started talking about his (Jammeh’s) obsession with anything voodoo. Kairo News will get back to that in a detail article.


One Comment

  1. Good grief. !! Is this Yaya Jammeh’s Slaughterhouse ? Thanks but I rather be a vegetarian.